Sunday, May 11, 2014

how to overcome social anxiety

Social anxiety or fear of others

 It is five o'clock in the morning and Sebastian opens his eyes for the umpteenth time that night . The hour approaches . He must make an oral presentation this morning before the other students in the group and teacher. He nausea and he is unable to swallow anything . Sébastien tremble at the mere idea to attend college this morning. He is convinced that he will make a fool of him and he goes straight to the disaster.
 
Today is the day of initiation. Annie began her university studies in a program where she knows no one . She hates talking about rain and fine weather and fears have nothing intelligent to say . Annie is afraid that finds uninteresting and she decides not to go .
 
Olivier participates in a meeting of the student association and it does not share the same views as his colleagues. He would like them to share their fears but Olivier reaction. He chose to remain silent.
 
Karine is the lab and teacher observes as she made ​​her manipulation. She feels ashamed and afraid that he noticed. Karine becomes increasingly nervous, she began to tremble and she can no longer hide his nervousness. She would end up anywhere but there.
 
These scenarios have one thing in common, they depict people who expose themselves to the eye and to the judgment of others. We've all experienced this kind of situation. But what happens , then, when the discomfort caused by these situations we invaded ?

What is Social Anxiety ?

Where does this fear of others ?

How to manifest this fear?

How to overcome fear of others?



What is Social Anxiety ?

 Social anxiety is the persistent fear of one or more situations in which the person is likely to be seen by others and afraid to act humiliating or embarrassing . When we are the object of the attention of others, it may be that we are afraid not to make a good impression . This is a very widespread phenomenon.
 
Social anxiety has several variants: stage fright, shyness and social phobia are the main .
 
Stage fright is the name we give to the discomfort point directly associated with performance performing before an audience . It is limited in this situation and does not alter , significantly , the quality of life of the individual.
 
More widespread , shyness is a personal trait , a way of being. Although she wants to share with his entourage , the shy person tends to stand back and let others initiate conversation. She feels generally more social anxiety than average. Throughout the meetings , however , decreases anxiety and shy person fits. Shyness also has certain advantages. Shy people are often valued for their discretion, sensitivity, sense of observation , critical thinking and analytical skills. The world today promotes extroversion but any group, any population must include members of extroverts and introverts. Imagine the uproar in which we would be if the society in which we live contained only extroverts !


At the extreme , shyness becomes social phobia. This is a significant and persistent fear of social situations where one is exposed to the eye and to the evaluation of others. The person suffering from social phobia fear of being humiliated or embarrassed by his behavior or his anxiety symptoms such as flushing or tremors . While acknowledging that his fear is excessive or irrational , it fears most social situations , she tries to avoid or tolerate with difficulty.

Where does this fear of others ?

 Difficult to answer with certainty the question. However, we can identify some factors such as heredity , family environment , education and life events . If, for example , you were ridiculed or mocked the whole class by a teacher or a professor in the primary because you did not answer a question, there is a good chance that you have difficulty taking public speaking . It is important to mention that we live in a society that values ​​individualism and performance. There instead of wondering about the effects that this quest for excellence in our interpersonal relationships.

How to manifest this fear?

 Manifestations of social anxiety are varied. In the spotlight , people often feel palpitations, headaches. They sweat more than usual , they have the stomach knotted, are stretched and have dry mouth and throat. The most feared symptoms are those that reveal , against our will , our nervousness. Blushing , stuttering and trembling are included. People then tend to focus more on these events , which has the effect of amplifying and thus increase , in turn , the level of anxiety.
 
Anxiety throws us in trouble and we feel embarrassment and shame. This anxiety can even turn into panic. Then we will tend to avoid directly by refusing invitations, or more subtly by not looking people in the eye, by not speaking or making only brief sentences.
 
If we could hear the thoughts running through the minds of people who suffer from this phobia before, during and after a social situation , we would find a strong negative self-talk . Before a meeting , they often anticipate worst case scenarios. Once there , they focus on their inner discomfort rather than the current encounter . Return home , they tirelessly repass the film the meeting, seeking the alleged errors and amplifying the consequences thereof .
 
Not only do these self-talk contribute to increased anxiety and avoidance connected thereto , but they promote social failure . The person who has fear of flying does not increase, by his thoughts , the risk of crash. However, the individual who fear social situations and thus limit its interactions arouse less interest in others.

How to overcome fear of others?

 Social anxiety is not prohibited. A little adrenaline never hurt anybody . When anxiety is too low, the individual is less motivated and less mobilized by the situation and thus less likely to succeed. When present without excessive anxiety stimulates and enables us to better service . We must not therefore seek to feel no nervousness but try to keep a good self-control that will allow us to be alert and present to others.
 
One of the first steps to overcome the fear of others is to gradually get used to confront the feared situations . This exposure should be gradual. It is best to start with a relatively easy location and then once it is overcome , move on to another a little harder and so on. If, for example , you do not dare to speak to your neighbor or neighbor in class, you can start to smile , say hello , and then say a few words at the beginning of the course . Thereafter, you can discuss with him or her at the break and possibly offer him to break bread together after class. By repeating these exercises exposure , the person finds that his anxiety decreases, it wins trust and gradually manages to overcome his anxiety.
 
The person who is afraid of other doubts her social skills, sometimes with good reason. Avoiding social interactions, the phobic person has less opportunity to develop basic social skills such as watching his partner or his interlocutor , smile and speak audibly . Developing social skills , improves the individual 's sense of self-efficacy and , therefore, manages to reduce his anxiety. Toastmasters Clubs , which are found in most areas offer excellent opportunities to do so.
 
Finally, we can overcome our fear of others without changing our thinking . We must first identify misperceptions arising from beliefs that we maintain about oneself and others, and learn to change by being more realistic and more discriminating . A student or a student who firmly believes that people monitor the attitudes of others and judge negatively the weak, for example, will tend to interpret as a sign of rejection silence of its director or its research director . It is therefore important to examine our perceptions and beliefs and try to question them .
 
Much of social anxiety is that it takes itself too seriously and we want to look good too . Why not take it as is, sometimes awkward , sometimes shy, sometimes funny and often friendly ?